Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
