After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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