omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
