I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
