I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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