it was like eating out sand paper
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
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