Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
