i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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