There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize
