A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
All I want is dick and wine.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
