Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
