how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
