His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
