after a month anything with tits is on the radar
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
As shirtless as possible
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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