I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
if only i could text you this smell
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Randomize
