You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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