She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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