Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Randomize