she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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