If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
