I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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