I'm sorry my penis didn't work
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
You may now shotgun with the bride
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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