I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
23 Bosses Confess The Craziest Thing They’ve Seen An Employee Do
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
19 People Confess What It’s Like To Have Sex With Someone That Is Transitioning
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"