Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila