I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I think people are normalizing furries
Randomize
