Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
