tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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