well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
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