thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
