Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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