Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
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She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
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A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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