i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
