you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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