It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Randomize
