You can't special order awesome
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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