Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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