yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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