I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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