it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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