Apparently you make a good broom.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
