I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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