he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
