Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
We are two peas in an std pod
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
They took my balls.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
