Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Randomize