I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I need a burrito and a hug.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Dicks are not precious.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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