Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize