Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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