She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
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Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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