I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
