I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
