He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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