I hate all girls vehemently.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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