I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
