There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
