Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
