So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
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