How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
When did angry sex become our thing?
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
