i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize