matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
zippers are such a cool invention
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
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