where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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